Friday, 6 March 2015

Save your research, Aston. Here's the answer.

With Aston Martin currently in the news for spending much time and effort researching what is required to make their cars more appealing to women, Retro Adverts has discovered the answer. Just make the new DB10 simple to drive, and neither draughty nor stuffy inside.

What's hot, and what's not.

With the financial year in the UK wending its weary way towards a close, here's a look at what's been popular here at Retro Adverts in the last 12 months. Or perhaps I should say "what's been trending"; but I'm afraid I only speak English.

Number One best seller, by some distance, has been adverts featuring BMW's with nearly 15% of the total sales. Second, on just over 11%, the good and faithful Mini. Running it a close third, just under 11%, the MG.

And where in the world has the best taste? The good old US of A, who have taken 39% of the total sales. Dear old Blighty runs a close second, on 35%. A long way back, but still demonstrating excellent good taste, bronze medal position goes to the discerning customers of Australia, on 9%.

No doubt this commercially sensitive information will be of enormous help to my competitors, who seem to be proliferating. I actually saw some old car adverts hanging in a pub toilet the other day. Heritage documents, for heaven's sake, in a bog! But on closer examination they were copies, not originals; so perhaps they were in the best place.

No scans or copies at Retro Adverts, of course. Well, except in this blog.

Sunday, 13 July 2014

"I say old boy, I've just been handed this note and I don't have my spectacles; what does it say?"

"It says 'From the Club Secretary. Why aren't either of you wearing any clothes?' "

If you're the nervous type, stop hanging out of the window.

In 1958, the man in the knitted bobble-hat gave way to the man in the tweed flat cap and leather driving gloves.

Austin Maxi - It goes with a way of life. But not this one.

And that fellow in the cheesecloth shirt - put some shoes on!

Just to remind you; your life has not been totally without success.